


Stricken Ill

by AwesomeNova



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: F/M, Mental Illness, Sheep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-07-26 18:09:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 14,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7584625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwesomeNova/pseuds/AwesomeNova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm sick. Not with the flu, but with something else. Something mental.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Daily Routine

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This fanfic is not a pairing of the familiar characters of Zootopia, but rather from the perspective of a OC. Also I may mention familiar things like Diet Coke. Not trying to advertise for the Coca-Cola Co. I can take on the hate. Oh, if you know what’s wrong main character, don't spoil it to anyone else, please. Ignorance is bliss in this case. Couldn't find any beta readers so I did it myself. T for teen-mentions of blood, alcohol, etc.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-. I slammed my fist onto the big snooze button of my ancient mid-2000s orange alarm clock. Sunlight lit up the dark room making it so dim. I put on my contacts and then paranoia hit me like a semi-truck. I rushed to the only window completely covered by the blinds in my bedroom and peeked through them. Making sure my abductors aren't around me when I leave for work. I know they are out there to kidnap and torture me. Everyone said that will be very unlikely to happen, but there just naive to the world. I know more than everyone else. They don't know know the world is a literal death trap. Only my dirt cheap apartment is my safe haven, if I keep it that way.

I hesitated to open the door knowing that a demonic sheep was waiting in the minuscule space what suppose to be a living room every other day. Bit by bit I opened the door still hearing her evil snickers in the living room. I anxiously walk from my bedroom to my cramped kitchen through the living room passed that damn thing while also thing about my Diet Coke fix that I DESPERATELY NEED! I stopped when that spawn from hell spotted me. She open her mouth, showing her wore down, but razor sharp, miniature shark teeth and that pointed tongue. Blood of various shades of brown and crimson red splattered on her wool and battered formal clothes, fit for an assistant mayor of a city, indicated that I'm not her first (or last) victim. The smell of rusted iron was present. She sprinted towards me which prompted me run back to my room. I slammed the door and held it in place. That thing bang on the door and shook it in a repeated manner. I was having a panic attack while this was happening.

The ugly sheep gave up and snarled, “I’ll be back for you.”

Curled up into a ball with my back behind the door, and I bawled my eyes out. I thought, ‘I’m sick of that thing trying to give me a heart attack. Sick of my awareness of those abductors. SICK OF EVERYTHING! Sometimes I just want this to end. Yes, end it now, end that demon, END MY LIFE. End my hell, and be free. Free from my cage fly away. Yes, be a bird, live as a bird, die as a bird’.

I looked up at my alarm clock to find that it was now 6:30. Thirty minutes has passed since I woke. I walked to my fridge, took a bottle of Diet Coke and took a sip. I held it near my chest. I was clear-headed and calm at the very sip. Then, guzzled it down. And another, and another. Until I paused halfway at my fifth bottle. I hate the bitter taste of alcohol, and l was shaking and felt like vomiting after puffing on my first cigarette in the bathroom. My friends want me to ‘moderate’ my Diet Coke intake saying it eating at my money. Doesn't really matter since I have a $10 per hour job as gas station clerk, and some unemployment money. I can afford my crippling addiction and my apartment. I gulped down the bottle and grabbed a half empty milk jug out of the fridge. I then pulled out a bowl before belching. I reached of some bran cereal. After making the bran concoction, I set it down on the bowl and turned on the T.V. to the news. The T.V helps not hearing indistinguishable to clear voices during my meal. Unnerving, intrusive voices. I ate my breakfast while watching it for thirty minutes, and peeked out the windows every minute. I first, took off my blue college t-shirt, women’s underwear, and sweatpants for my green polo uniform not fit for an ewe like me. It doesn't complement my charcoal wool coat, not the you put on and off, the one attached and curly like hair on a mammal’s body. I finally brushed my teeth.

I peeked out my two covered windows for the abductors before heading out with anxiety. I walked to my parked 1998 Saturn of shame and went inside it. I turned the ignition key, drove out of the underground parking lot, and drove off after turning on the radio loud radio to drown out those voices while driving. With a 24 pack of filled Diet Coke cans in a box on the front passenger seat for my break or lunch, I drove off. I always passed a monument of a bunny and a fox, both in officer uniforms, holding up the ZPD’s flag. It was a symbol of times changing and equality for all mammals. I passed the Presidential Palace of Mammalia, yearning to be a leader of our nation, and the congressional building to work. I arrived at my destination, got my lunch and cans, and went into the building. The gas station doesn't gets busy, so I mostly restock the shelves while listening to music on from my phone. When a customer goes in it's usually a fatty with no purpose wanting to stuff donuts in his or her and get diabetes. They are the only one’s who keeps this place open.

A fatty rolled in. He got twenty dozens of gas station donuts. The fat bear places the donuts on the counter. He waits for me to call out the price. I said, “That’ll be $130, sir. It's less than my rent per month for my apartment.”

He was at first confused as he slapped $130, but then shrugged and walked away as I put the money in the register. He is the only customer and does the same thing daily. I restocked where the donuts were a went back to my cash register.

An authoritarian and ominous voice heard over my music said, “They are after you. Hide Charlotte hide”. I duck under the desk and hid like the voice said. I always eat lunch during work. Luckily the manager doesn't do crap, ever. Unless is there is a crime here.

Finally it was 4:00 and time to end my shift. I hastily went to my car with my trash from lunch, and drove back to my trashed apartment. My phone buzzing, so I turned a little music on to drown out the voices. I answered “Hello”.

“Hey!”, my Fox-bunny hybrid friend replied. “I know you need some emotional support for whatever you have. So I arranged a date for you.”

“What! Stacy, you know that I'm not ready for dating yet!”, a little angry that she didn't tell me about this blind date. Everyone has every right to.

“Too late, he is 24 just like you, he is single, he is not too aggressive, doesn't have a large belly-”

“You arranged a date without me knowing!”

“He is lonely and looks depressed. He broke out of his comfort zone, and you should too.”

I started to calm down, “I don't want to date right now.”

“Just give him a chance. He got cheated on, and now he is lonely.”

“ I got cheated on in high school and college!”

“You weren't in a real relationship They date you for the sake having a girlfriend”. That really burned me.

“Fine. For the first few weeks at least. No promises that will make a relationship. Deal?”, I didn't want to date, but she maybe right. Maybe. That and I just want to end this argument.

“Deal. Be their at Snarlbucks at 5:30 tomorrow .”

“On a Saturday. Okay, do I need to wear something formal?”, I asked.

“Are you kidding me”, she replied. Her voice slightly louder “Just something casual”.

“Okay. See you soon.”

“Bye.”

I hung up and turned off the music. Angry that she arranged a date behind my back. I don't want to date, I want to be alone in my apartment, drinking my Diet Coke, and staring at a noose that hung in the ceiling. That same voice told me to hang that thing up, not me. I took a shower, and played some Zoogle Play apps in my phone for a few minutes. The voice spoke.

“They are following you. Put it away Charlotte, put it away”, I put away my phone. “Hide away Charlotte, hide away”. I hid away in my room. Voices settled in. Some indistinguishable. While others clear as day. One yelled, ‘You're worthless!’ over and over again with its pitch gradually lowering. I stressed out and hyperventilated. I eventually checked the time. It was 7 o'clock. That went fast.

I head out of my room to make my dinner, it's a T.V. dinner. I ate my dinner in the living room on my cheap couch with the T.V. on. Afterwards, I went back in my phone until 10pm. That's when I brushed my teeth, take off and put away my eyes contacts, and get dressed for bed. I turned off the T.V. and plopped down on my bed, anticipating for the ‘spawn of hell’ to pop into my living room, and that date tomorrow. Luckily I don't work in the weekends.


	2. Blind Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I need a beta reader or two. PM to me for any mistakes. I'm also not perfect at dialogue. Thanks. Feel free to post links to fan art about this fan fiction or the movie that this is based on. Might mention something not appropriate for a kid, not very graphic. I'm putting the chapter title after the A/N.

It was 3:15pm. I entered Snarlbucks, a black-woolen ram sipped on some coffee. He looking gloom. He has the same light skin tone, not chubby at all, looks kinda… Oh my god that damn girl was right. He has a grey shirt with a picture of a gun that said 'Gun don't kill, mammals do', and dark blue jeans. 'OMG, he so sexy!' I thought. I turn on some music to drown out the distracting voices. He heard my music, and perked up. He had a small smile.

I ordered some ice tea. The cashier gave me the stink eye for ordering something for under $10. I sat down in front of him. Then the ram broke the silence. "Hello", he greeted. "Like your music."

"Thanks, I like rock", I said. Recognizing his complement. He started to look dazed a bit with a his mouth open. "Hello. Hello. Hello!"

He snapped out of it. "Oh. Sorry, I never dated anyone else since her."

"Her?"

His face turned grim with a mix of anger. "I don't want to talk that." Trying to evade talking what I'm assuming was his ex. " I'm Levi Levi lll"

I tried to comprehend his name. I couldn't. Is his family crack addicts? No one knows.

"It's family tradition to name their first son 'Levi'", Levi said.

"Oh. Interesting… My name is Charlotte Matilda Ramsey."

"Beautiful name." He sipped from his cup.

"Thanks," I said feeling flattered.

"Where do you work?"

That voice spoke. "He's one of them. Don't trust him."

I started to get anxious. "I need to go in the bathroom", I quavered in anxiety. He nodded before taking another sip of coffee.

I darted towards the women's bathroom after grabbing my phone while playing my music. I raced towards the the sink for bunnies. I turned on cold water, and splashed it onto my face several times to calm down. The first it was freezing, but then gradually got less cold each splash of water. My body was trembling. I tried to decide to follow the voices orders and be safe, or resume the date and risk my safety. I dried my face off with a paper towel, and headed out of the bathroom with my phone on hand. I sat on the chair in front of Levi. "I work in a gas station stocking items and as a clerk", I said answering his question. I sipped some tea.

"Cash register at Wool-Mart. The one where tone deaf teenagers sing over the intercom," he said with a nonchalant voice. Hey, Stacy does that.

I genuinely laughed hard, "Do they actually do that?"

"Yep."

"Oh my god", I said.

"You have a weird sense of humor, girl," he said with intrigue. I changed the subjects "Where did you work before that?", I asked. My tea just died. Expected it to be sweet and fizzy like Diet Coke.

"Went into the army." He showed a picture of him in a army uniform carrying his military duffle bag happy to be home. "Went out as a Private First Class." He put it back in to his wallet.

"Very honorable."

"I guess." Levi drank the last sip of coffee. "That went down fast."

"I have a Diet Coke addiction," I admitted. Feeling guilty-pleasures.

"That's possible." He asked another question, "Besides rock, what is your most and least favorite music?"

"Metal, don't like rap however."

His phone buzzed several times. "Oh shit. My drunk friends need a ride from the bar. Um… Here is my phone number." He hand a slip of paper that reads '637-368-3836' and 'Call me'. " It a date next week?"

"Sure…"

"Call and text, okay?" He picked up his empty cup.

"Okay…"

"Bye!"

"Bye." Levi threw away his cup. He went out the door and went into his blue mid-2000s truck before driving off.

After he left, I went into my car, started it, and drove back home.

I finally got home. Turned on the radio. I called Stacy about the date. "Hello," I said.

"Heyo, how's the date?", Stacy exclaimed with excitement.

"Cut short. Carpooled his drunk friends home. But I got his phone number."

"That's great! You attracted to him?"

"No, but he's sexy."

"Gotta go, bye!" She hung up before I said goodbye. I relaxed on my couch. I turned on the T.V. and turned off the radio. Watching T.V.

 


	3. Texting & Stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I had the dreaded writer’s block. Romance isn’t really my thing. I am participating in an RP on Fanfiction.net. Here is the link: 
> 
> https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/190563/152806303/1/DSA-RP
> 
> Anyways, I was shocked at how many of you read my fanfic. At first, I was unsure if this going to be a hit. Now, over 215 views, 3 followers and favorites on fanfiction.net, and over 120 hits and a kudos on AO3, I have hope in this fanfic be a success. Well, maybe a lot more from 11:50pm CDT on July 28, 2016 in the U.S. to when I post this chapter. So to keep this from becoming a deadfic, chapter 3 is delivered. The text supposed to be what someone texts via text. Contains drunkenness, but not alcoholism. References sex, but not depicts it. More like PG-14 stuff.
> 
> Inspired by chapter 1 of Family by TaterTotTottish.

I thought about Levi. Couldn't get my mind of of him. He's a interesting guy to be around. He looks sexy. I took out my phone and the slip he gave. I entered his number in. I texted, ‘Hey.’

I got a reply from him. ‘How's it going?’

I peeked through a window covered with blinds. Those damn abductors better not get to me. ‘Not much. How about you?’

‘At my friend’s place. He's having a hangover.’

‘Okay.’

‘I have to go. Bye.’

The voice spoke, “Stay away from him.”

I whimpered, “What do you-”

“I said stay away from him!” Clearly angry.

“No.” I was surprised by what I said.

“You're dead meat, Charlotte! Listen to me NOW!”

I started to cry. I don't want to abandon him. He probably have some abandonment issues, but I'm a slave to that voice. I balled my eyes out. I want to escape my life. Escape my life now! The voice appeared. One said, “You’ll be alone forever.” Another said, “Die already!” I clenched my teeth and made. Breathing heavily. Tears fell harder and harder. Breathing quickened. I stumbled to my room towards the noose. I stood up on the chair above the noose. I started to put the noose around my neck.

My phone buzzed. I calmed down. I slowly took the noose off and stepped down the chair. I checked my phone, it's Levi. ‘Went home and listening to disturbed.’ He sent a photo of an album cover from the web of Disturbed.

‘I love them!’, I texted.

‘Cool we share an interest.’ I think he meant, ‘Cool, we share an interest!’

‘Cool! You're sexy.’

‘I get that a lot’

Stacy texted me. ‘Texting are you?’ Oh my god.

I called Stacy. “Hello.”

“Heyoooooo…”, she said. She uh… Sounded drunk. According to T.V. “I drank the best tea in the whole bar.” Oh okay, she's really drunk!

“How many glasses have you had?”

“Lost count. You-you don't count when you drink something. You should drink it.” He then paused for a second. “I-I have a secret, but you-you can't tell Charlotte.”

I facepalmed myself. “I am Charlotte.”

I heard her vomit from her end. “Please don't tell her. Sh-she'll flip.”

“Fine. I won't tell her.”

“I feel-I feel empty without Charlotte, y’know? I care for her, and I care for-I care for her feelings and her well being, y’know? It's-it’s why I arrange-why I arrange a date for her, to make her happy. I-I may not see her everyday, but I check on her-check on her through calling and texting, y’know?” She paused. I think I heard her throat gulping down that tea she shortly talked about. “Again, don't tell Charlotte. She’ll flip.” Those were the heartwarming words of a drunk in the entire world. “Excuse me while I have-I have hot sex with my boyfriend.” She has a boyfriend? And she is having uh… sex? I need to talk to her tomorrow… after work.

**The Next Day**

I went home from work. I called Stacy as soon as possible. “Hey Stacy.”

She sounded week. “Hey. I just had this weird dream.”

“What is it about?” I searched on the internet for her MuzzleBook profile page.

“Sex. With my boyfriend. And I'm right next to him. In my bed.”

I wanted to pour bleach over my eyes when I saw her sextape on the INTERNET! “There's a sextape on the internet. On your profile page. Do you have bleach?”

“I don't have any.”

“Oh, I just need some for MY EYES!”

“Okay okay, I go check it out” She paused for a minute. Felt like an eternity. I watched the video to pass the time. I felt like a creep just watching the thing. “Oh my god. Why did I post this?” She was regretting post this monstrosity.

“‘Cause drunks do stupid crap like this.”

“You don't need to take care of me. I have my own problems, okay? I insist that you take care of yourself.” I want to buy Diet Coke for her. But my paranoid self, and the fact that I would drink it all prevented that from happening. Also, she is an independent woman that claims to be a feminist. Even though she does nothing to the feminist movement.

“Okay.”

“See ya.” She hung up. ‘Well, I'm looking forward to that date,’ I thought as I watch the rest of the video. Distracting me from the critical voices. 


	4. Date at the Park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Disneycow82 on Deviantart, this fanfic will have cover art. I wasn't hard to think of this chapter. Okay it has some trouble and I was busy. I don't hate on feminism at all. Never went to Hooters. I edited each chapter because dialogue has a punctuation errors in it. I don't drink, and so should you.

I got sent home for hiding under the desk. My current boss is REALLY flexible. He isn't harsh as my old boss. My old boss will fire me as soon as I make a mistake. Anyway, my NEW boss sent me on a week vacation. Again…

Within a week, Stacy is “cured” from her hangover. She took down that video. Thankfully. That had been the week.

I was watching the news on T.V. Something about shock collars bill, but got rejected. Figures. My phone buzzed. It's Levi. ‘I think the date is at the park.’

I froze. Shocked from if those abductors finding me in a park. I don't exactly trust Levi, but those biceps. So sexy... ‘I don't know. Maybe somewhere else.’

‘Maybe. I'm sold on the park. Just give it a shot.’

‘Maybe not the park.’

‘The park or Hooters.’ Hell no! Not dating in Hooters!

‘No Hooters.’

‘The park it is. Can I pick you up?’

‘No.’

‘Okay. See you at the park st 5:30’ Our texting session has ended. I took a shower. Peeked through my windows. Checking to see if the coast is clear. I went out of my apartment to my car. I drive to the park’s parking lot. I see a truck. It's HUGE. My phone buzzed. A text from Levi. ‘I'm at a large tree. Just go straight starting from and facing away the front of my truck. I'll be under that tree.’ I looked for a truck and there it is. The only truck in the parking lot. “Must be his truck,” I muttered. I turned on my music. I followed instructions. Face away from his truck’s front, and go in a straight line.

There he is. Sitting on a blanket leaning against the tree. Legs straight with some food. I looked around. We're alone… Together.

He noticed me as I turned on my music. “Hello bae,” he said.

“Bae? No one calls me bae before.” I didn't know how to react to that. Felt flattered.

“I don't really say bae to anyone.” He pulls out a small bottle of… whiskey. Very expensive looking. And two shot glasses proportional to our sizes. He poured that adult drink into those glasses, and handed the smaller one to me. “Ever drank something like this?”

“Never. I hate bitter taste!” Felt a bit agitated. I don't exactly know why. Maybe there those damn VOICES! Breathing heavily.

“Whoa. Calm down. No need getting pissed. Deep breaths, okay?” We did some deep breaths together. It calmed me down.

I drank the shot. I made a face of disgust. I was bitter and disgusting, but euphoric. “I'm okay now.” He drank his shot it was nothing. No face of disgust.

He put away the bottle and brought out spray can cheese and crackers. “These are for to space out each shot.” He put some spray cheese on the cracker and ate it.

“Sorry. I just don't like alcohol.” Feeling embarrassed.

“I admit, that was weird.” He ate another cheese’d cracker. “What's up?”

“My boss gave me a week of vacation. Again.”

“You must be either unstable or lazy to get that many vacation days. Go on.”

“And my friend got drunk and…” I sigh. I hoof-palmed myself. I'm going to say it. “And had sex while recorded it, and posted it.”

“Don't remind me of that! Everybody should keep that stuff to themselves. It's a private thing.”

“Well… That's my week.”

“Another sang into the intercom.” I laughed hard. “It's not funny anymore.” I stopped laughing.

“Sorry.”

“Don't beat yourself up. Just sayin’.” He repositioned his legs so they are criss-crossed. “Do you really think that singing into the intercom is funny?”

“Yes.”

“You're interesting. I dated boring chicks before you. Either they're one-night-stand chicks, or really desperate. Except you and… her…” He sigh as he rubbed his temples. “I can't force a relationship on you.”

“I would of spend this time on something useless. Like watching infomercials.” He leaned his head on the tree. “You're not exactly forcing a relationship on me. I feel overwhelmed, but you're sexy.”

“You're just saying that to get into my pants.”

“No, I feel… I don't know… I have mixed feelings for you.”

He looked at me with watery eyes. “Thank you. ”I'm not actually desperate. Just… Just… Let's just have a date soon. Just hang out as friends for a while, okay? I need a bit of little space.”

“Okay.”

He poured the adult drink into our glasses. We clinked our glasses together, and gulped the shot down.

“Use him as a distraction for them, and dump him!” the voice commanded. ‘I will,’ I thought in a rebellious attitude. ‘Just not now.’

“Damn, bitter taste sucks,” I said.

“You'll get used to it,” Levi said as he handed me a cheese-covered cracker. I shortly ate it.

“Is there one example?”

“Of what?”

“Desperate woman.”

“A woman wanted to marry me after the first date. God damn, she proposed on our that date. She's more like a stranger than a partner.”

“I barely date. It's hard.”

“You're right. Dating’s hard.” He grabbed a cracker. Ate it whole. Even his chewing is sexy… “The wrong moves can kill a relationship. Even your partner’s.”

“I got dumped in high school for another girl.”

“Your ex just wants you.” He hugged me. It was hard to breathe. “Thank you for being with me.”

“You're welcome.”


	5. Real Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry that I was late for releasing chapter 4. Writer's block mixed with procrastination makes you not write fanfiction. I think Disneycow82 (or Bovine Beauty on fanfiction.net) is done with my cover art. Yay! Here is chapter 5.
> 
> Not affiliated with the band Disturbed.

I breathing quickened. Quickened. Quickened. Quickened! QUICKENED! The door shook violently. Door knob twisting and turning! This is a nightmare! "Damn it! You're dead, and you deserve to DIE!" the demonic sheep exclaimed as she disappeared.

'Why is my life a nightmare?' I thought. 'How is anyone dealing with this like nothing really happens? I can't take anymore! I can't. I can't! I CAN'T! My life is hell. My life is hell! MY LIFE IS HELL! This can't go on! I need this to end! To end. To end! TO END! HOW CAN I END IT!' My breath was audible. "HOW CAN END IT!"

"Can you keep it down please. Thanks." I didn't realize until now that I yelled on the top of my lungs that sentence. My breathing slow to a normal state. I checked my window. Good the abductors aren't here. The voice is starting to trust Levi (I think), and we're dating a real date. Not getting to know each other. A real date. The date is at his place, and I'm really excited to do it and scared. But I hope he protects me from the abductors. He is sexy, strong, loyal, gentlemen-like… Sexy… My thoughts was short lived when voices invade. That want me to either die or dump him. I put on music to drown them out. It worked.

I'm excited. But I want to be alone. I want Levi and be alone. Why? I'm in love in him? I think so. 'I'm denying it. I want him. Is he my path to heaven? Please be my heaven. I… I… I'm in love with him. How? I don't talk to anyone. Our relationship always pushes me to talk. It's hard. I want him.'

I peeked out of my window with weary eyes. The morning sun. 10:37 A.M., Saturday.

I took a shower. A long one. Hot water dripped down my back. I put on a blue flannel and black leggings. Interesting pair. Looks better than my old clothes. I popped in a lot of breath mints. The minty freshness is burning my tongue. But I don't care. I'm all set.

 **6:00 P.M**.

I peeked through my window. Watching out for those abductors, and for my ride. He will be picking me up, and go to his apartment. A sound of a truck approached my apartment building. My phone buzzed. 'You ready?' Levi texted. I took a deep breath. I slowly got out of my apartment. Locked the door and walked downstairs to the front door. Levi is more visible in his truck here than from my apartment. I walked out the door. I went closer to his large truck. He was wearing an old black dress shirt and blue jeans. The steps were a bit too high for me to reach. He got out of his truck. He opened the truck door, picked me up, and placed me on my seat. He even buckled my seatbelt. He got back in and we drove off.

We drove to a old brick building. Ivy climbing up the building, bricks sticking out. The glass stained from age. Levi went out of his truck. He walked to my door, opened it, unbuckled me, and lifted me and paced me on the ground. We went inside his apartment. Much smaller than mine. Barely a kitchen here. The living room is about 6' by 6'. I explored further. There is a short hallway that leads to a cramped-as-all-hell bathroom, and a bedroom with a queen sized mattress. I finally came to a table. The table looked tiny. Even for me. A chair at one of the ends where I suppose to sit, and Levi sitting on the floor. I sat down on that chair.

I raced toward. Peeked through it. Hoping those abductors didn't follow us. "The the hell are you doing?" Levi asked.

"Don't tell us our secret." The voice again. "He'll might tell them our secret."

"Nothing. Just the view." I told a lie. I hope that doesn't spiral out of control.

"Oh. It's just strange that you raced towards a window," Levi said.

I sat back down. He covered the Windows closest to the table. "Pervs peek through my windows. I called the cops on them, but I got in trouble for falsely accusing of them for sexual harassment." He got up. He brought out roasted potatoes, and cocktail juice. He set them down, and sat down. "Your head makes you look like a teenager."

"I hate the new wool style that everyone adopted. I like this better."

"And easier to clean." He scraped my half on my plate, and the rest onto his.

"Yes."

"You shave on your own?" He takes a bite.

"Yes."

He made a half smile. "Hey. My cooking isn't burnt."

"Aren't I lucky?" Voices came back. "Can turn on on some music please?" I said in a polite tone. "I don't want my to drain my phone's battery."

"Sure." He went up to a radio. He grabbed out a CD. He put on in, and went back to his seat. It played "The Light" by Disturbed on low volume. "Something uplifting for the day. How's your day?"

I took a bite. Damn. It's good. "Nothing much. How about you?"

"A marriage proposal over the intercom. I guess he wanted to announce it in the store."

"Huh."

"Could have been done somewhere else."

"I think it's cute."

"Then a day later, a bomb threat."

"WHAT!"

"Don't worry. It was a bunch of angry protestors did it."

"Why?"

"They think Wool-Mart is profiting off of abortions."

"I wish I never asked."

"I wish I never experienced it." He changed the subject. And for good reason. He smiled. "We often don't see each other a often, but you look beautiful."

I chuckled. "You always say that."

"Truly, you are."

I made a half smile. "Well then, you're sexy."

"Everyone says that."

Mimicking him, I said, "Truly, you are"

"I am." We laughed together. Finally, my life isn't hell. I feel free. I feel happy. Or at least the taste of it. We licked our lips in sync. My heart was pounding. Not from my paranoia or the voices. But from somewhere else. I couldn't understand it. Felt new. Levi biceps looked bigger than usual. He goes to the gym, but damn. His brown eyes. He is to die for. I licked my lips again. He placed his right hoof on my left side of my face. Our heads drew closer. I closed my eyes, and puckered my lips loosely. Slight right tilt of my head. Our lips came into contact. I smelled his peppermint and potatoes breath, but i don't care. His lips are loose and fluent. His warmth of his body. The sound of our lips smacking each other.

We pulled back. I lightly smacked my lips. Trying to comprehend what happened. "Whoa," I said.

"To be honest, it felt like a trance."

"Whoa."

"Whoa is right, Charlotte. Whoa is right."


	6. I'm Sorry That It Had To End This Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Like chapter 5? Well, now it is the time to proceed with caution. Because now it is the time to get to a very dark subject. If that never happened here. Do me a favor, okay? Don't take this lightly. Don't say I warn you.
> 
> Not affiliated with The Coca Cola Co or Disturbed.
> 
> Oh yeah, this chapter contain blood.

It was a okay day. I was wearing my “Asylum” Disturbed t-shirt, and skinny jeans.

I went to the fridge to quench my everlasting thirst for Diet Coke. There is none. I even checked my emergency Diet Coke under our bed. I walked towards the couch. Feeling a withdrawal from my Diet Coke addiction.

Levi grabbed his pair of keys off of the coffee table. We gave each other eye contact. “I'm getting out for groceries. Is there anything you want?”

“Diet Coke," I said.

He chuckled. “You need to lay off of them. Alright. See you when it get home.” And he kissed me on the forehead before going out the door. He started to get sick of me playing music all day. So I got earbuds for myself. I try to relax on the couch. Damn voices drove me crazy. So I listen to music. Which it worked. I raced to the window. I peeked through it. No abductors. Only Levi driving off. I continued my relaxation.

“He's making you submissive. Dump him. He deserves it.” No. Not the voice.

“No.” I whimpered. I plugged ears.

“Listen to me! Dump him, or die!” Plugged harder.

“No!” Plugged harder.

“Dump him!”

I unplugged my ears. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“You worthless shit! You die!” Then the voice chanted the word “die” over and over. Each time gets faster.

“Stop!” The voice stopped chanting. I dropped on my knees, and I cried. “Please, get me out of my hell.”

“Bleed to death.” I know what that meant. I saw an article about that. I know how to do it. “There is only one way out of your hell.”

I was desperate. I wanted to be free from my hell. “I'll follow you.”

“Grab Levi’s army knife.” I grabbed his knife. And went into the bathroom, and closed the door. I checked the time. 2:27 P.M. I put my phone on the rim of the tub. I sat in the tub as if I'm taking a bath. “Cut ‘em open.” I cut open the underside of my right arm. Two-thirds away from my wrist. Excruciating pain from my arm. I did the same thing on the other arm. Excruciating pain. I relaxed my arms. Both arms oozed blood from the cuts that I made. Excruciating pain. Blood dripping both into the tub, and onto my clothes. Lots of it. The room seems to spin, and I feel tired.

“This is a mistake,” I whimpered. “I want to be alive. I want to be with Levi.” No one answered. Silence. Excruciating pain. My breathing started to quicken. My skin started feel cold as if died. Feeling more tired. If that's a thing. Heartbeat sped up. Pain.

My phone buzzed. I grabbed my phone. Arms shaking. More pain from using them. Levi texted me. ‘Got your Diet Coke.’ It showed a picture of four bottles of Diet Coke. Too bad I'll be dead when they arrived. The time was 3:05. The trip to the store takes 10 minutes. He always fills his gas tank up. A huge one. Just in case he low on money. It takes 20 minutes in the gas station. Mostly to take to his friends there. He’ll come back. See me dead in a tub, and he knows the smell of blood. He hates that smell. He’ll think about why I killed myself while the secret is hidden. Hidden inside of me. I set my phone down. A flashback came to me.

We were dating four months since our first real date. We were at where we first met.

“I was thinking…” Levi said.

“Yes?”

“Can I move in together?”

We kissed. Tongues going towards each other mouths. “I would love to live with you.”

I feel weaker and colder as time passed by. Reality was like a slow-mo camera, everything is slowed down. More blood oozed out of cuts. Heartbeat sped up. And I was breathing quicker. I felt like going to sleep. Probably a permanent one since I'm bleeding to death.

I heard footsteps. I can listen even though my head was spinning. Levi said, “Hey bae, I got your Diet Coke.” There was a short pause. I was too weak to answer. He started to sound worried. “Charlotte. You're not being funny.” He paused. “Hello.” He knocked on the bathroom door. “You're in there?”

I whimpered, “Yes.”

“Are you okay?” He became worried. I saw the door open. Levi emerged. “God damn, Charlotte!” He started to cry. “Did you do it on purpose?” I nodded “yes”. “Why did you cut yourself?” He called 911. “Yes… My girlfriend cut her arms. She's bleeding out… Please send an ambulance… 18475 Aspen Ave. NE., 308…” Levi dropped the phone. He ran to the first aid kit. It is a tackle box with first aid stuff. He came back with it. Gently, he picked me up, and set me down into the bathroom floor. He opened it, and grabbed bandages. He wrapped it around my arms tightly. He put me on my side facing him. He was obviously crying. Levi wanted to cry in the corner. But that means losing me. My bandages were soaked with blood.

“I'm sorry it has to end this way.” Those are that I said before the world turned into a black wasteland.


	7. Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I got a little inspiration and done research. I have school now so expect chapters to be sometimes late. This is going to be hard. I've been doing an RP and life. So cut me some slack on how on time my chapters are. I had some inspiration from Painful Panacea by ThatIrishFox from AO3. Here is chapter 7.

I opened my eyes. Everything eight inches or more was blurry. They took my contacts out. I looked around. I wasn't in my normal clothes anymore. I was in a light blue hospital gown. On my right, was a table with a glasses case. My glasses case from high school. I reached for them. My arms and hooves shook as I grabbed them, and put on my glasses on. Pain from using them. Everything was crystal clear. I set my glasses case down. I saw some get-well cards. A heart monitor and IV bag attached to my arm through a tube. They're from a T.V. show. There was a red hospital bracelet in my arm. A red tag was attached to it. I read the red tag. It said 'Suicide Watch' on it.

Levi went in. "You're awake," Levi said. "God damn, you're in a coma for 5 days." He chuckled to relieve himself of his worries of me. "The doctors thought you'll be in there for weeks." He grabbed a chair. He sat down on it facing me. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"I'm happy that I'm okay," I said. We locked lips with each other for about 10 seconds. I started to wrap my arms around his neck. We retracted. Felt a bit awkward.

"Why did you try to commit suicide?" He wasn't angry. He tried to said it without sounding worried.

"Someone told me to cut myself," I whimpered from my pain.

"What?" He started to enrage from someone trying to harm me. "Who? Did he broke into our home?"

"He's…" I revealed my secret to him. "A voice."

"W-what?" He sounded confused. Less angry than before.

A doctor came in wearing a stethoscope on. She was a bunny. And looked young. "Hello Charlotte Ramsey. My name is Dr. Lori Taylor. I'll be your be your primary physician to your road to recovery." She was cheerful, but not a energetic as Stacy.

"Just call me Charlotte please," I said. She was writing something down she grabbed at the foot board at the bed. "What are you writing about?"

"I'm just recording your vital signs from the heart monitor. That's all." After she finished recording, she looked up from the clipboard. "Do you feel anything like weakness? Lightheadedness?"

"Not really. But a bit tired and my arms hurt."

"That's expected. You lost a ton of blood. Luckily your soul mate got you in just in time, and donated blood for the transfusion." She wrote her notes down. "And that's pretty much it. I just need to do some tests." She did test on me that are similar to a physical. After that, she made me do cognitive tests. Strange. Those voices weren't being heard. "Okay, you're on suicide watch for a few days, but don't kill me. You'll be eating anything that a plastic fork can stab and a plastic spoon can scoop. Oh, and I have to monitor you through that camera, okay?"

"Okay"

"Good." She started to leave. The she stopped. Crud. I forgot you can be visited for at most five times a day for 45 minutes." She turned to face Levi. "Do you have anything to before you leave?"

"I have her phone and charger." He fished for my phone and its charger. As soon as he grabbed them, he handed them to me. He then faced me. "I have to go. See you later." I waved goodbye to him. I was too tired to say goodbye to him. He and Dr. Taylor left and I was all alone. I took off my glasses. I touched its lenses. It's made out of plastic. I put my glasses back on.

I checked my phone. There were a lot of texts from Stacy. Worried ones. One of them said, 'please wake up. I'm getting worried about you being a vegetable.'

I texted back. 'I'm awake. I won't be out of the hospital for a few days. You can visit.'

She responded quickly. 'Oh my god! I have to visit I don't care. But I can't today. Definitely doing it tomorrow.'

I got tired. I put my phone away, and put my glasses away. I soon drifted to sleep.


	8. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Relieved of her surviving. Here is Chapter 8. Some of the chapter is based off of the cover art. Sorry I'm late with this one.

The room was dark. All I can see is me and the floor. The floor was a black and white checkered tile floor. It was in the same hospital gown, but no bandages on my arms. Then I heard laughter. Menacing laughter. I looked around to see no one was there. Menacing laughter. I looked around again. No one there. I was starting to tremble. Menacing laughter was growing louder and louder. Breathing quickened. There were an abundance of voices. They never left me. I plugged my ears but, it never worked. I kneeled down with my butt touching my heels. I trembled. I bawled my eyes out. Menacing laughter grew more and more louder and menacing!

I opened my eyes open. I looked around. Blurry. I put my glasses on. Still pain. The same bandages are on my arms. I checked the time on the clock. Almost 7:00. Paranoia struck me. I raced to the window. No one suspicious is out there. I laid on my hospital bed. I felt like they're coming. “You're not safe. Run.” The voice spoke again. I stood up from the bed and ran to the door. I jiggled the doorknob, but it was locked. I shook the door and jiggled the doorknob with anxiety of the abductors. Then, Dr. Taylor entered the room. “Why are you shaking the door?” she said so calm but serious.

“They're here. I'm not safe.” I backed up to a corner.

“They? You're safe. There is security here.” She was close to me.

“I'm not safe.” Denying her words.

“Safe from who?”

“The abductors. We're not safe from them.” My breathing quickened to hyperventilation.

With her calm voice. She said, “No abductors can get through them.” She pointed at the security guard. “See, you're safe.”

“No. No. No! No! NOOOOOO!”

“Charlotte, calm down, okay? Deep Breaths.” I didn't follow her deep breaths. She held me in her comforting embrace. “I should of done this sooner,” she muttered. She spoke to me. “You're crying for help, and I'll get you help.” She pulled out her phone. She dialed in a phone number. “Hello. I'm calling on the behalf of my patient. She's having a panic attack over abductors, but she's safe and…” She peeked outside. …No one is here outside.” There was a pause. “I'll go ask her.” She lowered the phone from her ear and faced me. “How do you know that you are go to be abducted?”

I was calm enough to talk to her. “A voice or something told me.”

“What voice?”

“You can't hear it?” I stared into her eyes.

“I think it's in your head.”

“It's not.”

Without questioning me, she put her phone up to her ear. “A voice in her head told her.” Another long pause. “You have room? Cool.” Another long pause. “I'll inform her soulmate of this. Thanks.” She hung up. “There. You're getting the help that you need.”

Levi went inside. “Hey Charlotte. The hell is happening here?”

She spoke before I could to him. “She was having mental breakdown. Something about abductors.”

He gave me eye contact. “The hell girl? I have a gun. No one can get through me.”

“I'm sure ‘they’ won't,” she said to him. Her embrace calmed me down. My breathing went to normal. “I called a psychiatrist. She said she wanted to leave because a voice in her head told her to.”

She let go. Levi asked to me, “Why did I shrug off...this as your quirk?”

Levi held me in his embrace. “I won't let any hurt you. And you're talking that psychiatrist.”

“I don't need it,” I said, pleading.

He let go off me. “Hearing voices in your head? Definitely normal.” He said in sarcasm.

“I'm fine!” I was starting to feel angry.

She intervened. “I would like to end their fighting.” She faced me. “You're going to this appointment.” I felt like hitting myself with a book. Well I hope he or she is nice.


	9. Crying For Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you Bovine Beauty for your support. I love it. Thanks fox-mccloud on DeviantArt for letting me to include one of your OCs from your fanfic, and editing part of the most of the chapter. I don't know if I should post my fanfic on DeviantArt. I dunno. Here is chapter 9.

I woke up. I put on my glasses to see. There will be a psychiatrist or something coming to my door. I don't know who he or she is. The only time I've seen one is when my older sister had an eating disorder. I peeked through the window. I see a car outside. A fox came out with a brief case. I can't get out. I sat down in this bed paranoid.

A few minutes later, I saw the door open to see a fox came in, along with Dr. Taylor. He wore a brown and blue pinstripe suit, with a white formal shirt underneath and a dark necktie. Overall, he looked like any fox except his combed strands of hair and a white-tipped tail. He opened the briefcase he was holding. She spoke first. "Hello. This is Dr. David T. Brushtail. He's a criminal psychiatrist. But, his patient is uh… Not well…"

The fox looked at Dr. Taylor sharply and said, "I prefer not to talk about my patient at this moment, please."

"Oh sorry. I forgot about confidentiality. Umm… I'm going to go to my work before it gets awkward."

"I admit. It has been slightly awkward since you mentioned my patient to her." His voice was formal, but friendly. She left, leaving me and him alone in the room. "Good morning, Ms. Ramsey," the fox smiled. No one really called me like that. "Like Dr. Taylor said, I'm Dr. David T. Brushtail, criminal psychiatrist. You do remind me of my current patient. But that's irrelevant. Dr. Taylor reccommended you to me."

"Thank you, Doctor," I said. "Please call me Charlotte. But I don't need this."

He smiled and nodded, "I understand." Putting some reading glasses on his nose, he asked, "How was your morning?" His voice was calm and relaxing.

This popped into my mind when I thought of my morning. "I tried to get out of here."

Dr. Brushtail pursed his lips in thought, "Why did you try to get out?"

"Don't tell him," the voice ordered. "He's one of them! He can't be trusted!"

My breathing quickened. My pulse sped up. Hyperventilating. I curled up into a ball. He kept a distance, but came closer. Dr. Taylor came running into the room and jumped on the bed. She held a small paper bag. Her comforting embrace. I grabbed the paper bag and breathed into it. It was hypnotizing. I moved the bag away from my face. My breathing was normal. I was a bit calmer. She let go. "Why did you have a panic attack?" she asked.

"The voice said that he's one of them." I whispered, pointing at him.

"He's harmless," she said, taken aback. "He's here to help. Just trust him."

I nodded, trusting her judgement. She added, "It's okay. I'm right here."

Dr. Brushtail repeated the question, his voice gentle and kind, "Why did you try to get out?"

"A voice told me," I said, feeling shaken up.

He wrote something in his notebook before continuing, "What did that voice tell you?"

"That I'm not safe." I fidgeted on the paper bag.

He wrote in his notebook again. "What did the voice say that you're not safe from?"

"Abductors."

He set down his notebook on his lap. "Have you confronted one of those abductors before?"

I thought about it. I never really met them, but I know they're real. "Not really."

He finished his writing and removed his glasses, his tone a thoughtful and considerate one. "You must be scared of the abductors, yes?"

"Yeah." I was quite surprised to see how much he really cared about me, just as much as Levi.

"We're done for now. Thank you for sharing this conversation." He stood up and offered his paw to me. I reached over and took it, feeling no longer afraid of him.

"No problem."

"I must be going. It's been a pleasure to meet you, Charlotte." He remembered to call me by my name.

"Bye, Doctor!" He left the room with a gentle smile on his face.

Dr. Taylor started to speak. "He needs to know what's wrong with you in order to help you. Thanks for cooperating."

"You're welcome," I said.

"Help is coming. I promise." She said in a soft yet serious voice. "I'll be at my desk, okay?"

I nodded. She gave me a thumbs up and went to her desk.

I got a call. It was Stacy. I answered. "Thank God you're okay," she cried. "I wanted to see you, but work, and my family."

"It's okay. I'm fine." I assured her.

"Charlotte, you're my world. And-and I love you as a friend and as a sister." She sounded like she was about to cry. This isn't like her. Essentially while she was grieving. "You're my everything. Yes, I have a boyfriend, but you're my first and long lasting friend, and-and-and I don't want it end because you killed yourself." Her voice was trembling. "I can't even describe what I felt when I heard that you tried to kill yourself. You almost broke my heart."

"I'm sorry," I said. I really felt sorry. I didn't think about how would everyone react to my suicide.

"And-and-" She started to cry. Her weeping wasn't loud and hysterical. It was sweet, quiet. I listened to her crying. I felt like crap. Not because of my arms, but because of how she thought of my suicide. "I'm sorry."

"Don't say sorry. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Thanks." She blew what I think it was a tissue over the phone. "How's the hospital?"

"Good I guess. I get to eat normal food."

"That's good." She snuffled. "Are you always bored."

"Not really. I got the doctor that comes to talk sometimes." I didn't mentioned the camera.

"What's his or her name?" She sniffles again.

"Dr. Lori Taylor."

"I have to go. I hope you get better soon. Bye."

"Bye." She hung up. I missed her. I'm was glad she called me. She's always thoughtful. I should've thanked her for the blind date. Otherwise I wouldn't be alive. I should've thanked Levi for caring and sticking to me in every step of the way. I should thank anyone who takes care of me. I thought about every who cared about me and how should i thank them. I unlocked my phone. I then played on my phone for the rest of the day.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for all of your support. fox-mccloud helped with chapters 9 and 10. This chapter was inspired by The Night I Disappeared on chapter 17. Also the Powerball by Dynaflex exists.
> 
> Mild swearing is in this chapter.

It was the same dark room. I saw the same black and white checkered tile floor. I was in the same hospital gown with my bandages on my arms. Then I heard laughter. The same menacing laughter. I looked around to see no one was there. Menacing laughter. I looked around again. No one there. I was starting to tremble. Menacing laughter was growing louder and louder. Only quicker than before. Breathing quickened. There were an abundance of voices with higher intensity than before. I plugged my ears but, it never worked. I kneeled down with my butt touching my heels. I trembled. I bawled my eyes out. Menacing laughter grew more and more louder and menacing! Then they boomed, “You'll never escape your Hell!”

I woke up trembling. I put on my glasses to see. I peeked through the window. I see a car outside. A fox came out with a brief case. It was Dr. Brushtail. I can't get out. I sat down in this bed a bit less paranoid than yesterday. Strange. I told a lot of things without hesitation.

The door open to see him came in. He had the same clothes as yesterday. He opened the same suitcase he was holding yesterday. “Good morning, Charlotte,” he said smiling. At least I know I'm not in a Groundhog's Day loop. He sat down on a chair and opened his briefcase. He grabbed his notebook and pen. “I was recommended by Dr. Taylor that we continue where we left off yesterday.”

“Hi Doctor,” I said. “I thought I was in in a Groundhog's Day loop.”

“I see.” He put on his reading glasses on his nose. “The voices that you described intrigued me. Can you describe them in more detail?”

“They terrorize my life.” I said without hesitation.

“How do they terrorize your life?” He sounded like he's interested.

“They say hurtful things.”

“What is one of the hurtful things they say to you?”

“To kill myself.” That was a big reveal.

He was calm. He recorded something in his notebook. His wrote fast. “They must make you life difficult to live, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“How long did they terrorized your life?”

“I don't know. They were there before I dated Levi.”

He wrote something in his notebook again. Again, very fast. “You and Levi seemed to be the perfect couple, correct?

“Yeah,” I said as I wondered why he changed the subject.

“How long was since you first met him?”

“Why do you need to know that crap?” I thought he was getting creepy. He wanted to know how long I dated him. “It not really important.”

“Maybe it is.” His voice was relaxed.

“Fine. Almost seven months.” I wanted to snap, but I felt bad about it. He's too charming. “You got too personal.”

“I apologize for treading too far into your personal life.”

“It's okay.”

“I'm glad that I'm forgiven.” He smiled. “How is your work prior to your suicide attempt?”

I was confused by this unknown word. “What's ‘prior’?”

“Prior to means before.”

“I mostly duck under the desk under the cash register in a gas station.” I don't really think he's pushing it. “I didn't get fired or laid-off because a fat guy buys $130 worth of donuts. If I'm not at the desk, I stock the shelves and mop the floor.”

“Fascinating.” How did he find that fascinating? He wrote some more in his notebook. He took off his reading glasses. He sets his notebook and pen in his suitcase, and he shut his briefcase. “I nearly exceeded the time allotted. Thank you for sharing this conversation once more.” He stood up and offered his paw to me. I reached over and took it. He kept me company besides Dr. Taylor and my only faithful boyfriend. I'm not being sarcastic. “I must be going. It's been a pleasure to meet you again, Charlotte.”

“Bye, Doctor.” And like that, he left.

I grabbed the Powerball thingy. It's a ball with a gyroscope thing. Just look up ‘powerball gyro’. Anyway, I started to move the yellow axis so it can move without my help by flicking it with by thumb. I held it tight. The window of the blue shell wasn't covered by my hoof. I moved the Powerball thing in a circle. I done that for about 45 minutes for each hoof. I set that thing down.

The door opened. It was Levi. “Hi,” he said. He sounded slightly annoyed. It seemed like it was not from me. “I just want to see you, but work and my God damn…” He sat down as he sighed and rubbed his temples. He calmed down. He grabbed what appeared to be hand sanitizer. He set that on the floor. “Know what? I'm happy that I can see you. That what matters.”

“That explains why you didn't see me yesterday,” I said. I wasn't mad at him for not visiting me, I'm just disappointed.

“How's your day?”

“Dr. Brushtail asked questions.”

“What are they?”

“One of them my work habits.”

“He asked those questions too.”

“Why?” I wiped my glasses off with the hospital blanket.

“Dr. Taylor said it was important. Other than that, I dunno.”

I put my glasses back on. “Okay.”

There was silence. Finally Levi spoke. “Those questions that Brushtail asked reminded of something.”

“What is it?” I asked Levi.

“We seemed to apart, yet we're as close as ever.”

“What?” I was surprised at what he said. It didn't make sense. “What do mean?”

His phone rang before he could answer me. He looked like he could punch a wall. He answered his call. “What?”

I could hear his friend’s voice. “C-c-can you drive me home, bruh?”

“Can you get a taxi? I'm with my girlfriend.” Levi tried to remain calm.

“You can't get off your ass?”

“I'm sick of driving your drunk-ass!” Levi is already losing it.

“I-I’m sick of you hanging out with that wacko chick. S-She just leeching off of you.”

Levi lost it. He stood up extremely quickly. “HOW DO YOU KNOW! YOU DRINK ‘TIL YOU BLEW YOUR MONEY AWAY! AND YOU MAKE ME DRIVE YOU BACK ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT YOU STOLE MY MONEY! I’M SICK OF YOU! THIS! ENDS! NOW!” He hung up and threw his phone onto the ground. His phone’s screen protector shattered into a million pieces, but he didn't care.

I looked at the door to see Dr. Brushtail at the door holding a hand sanitizer bottle. He had a calm face despite what I assumed witnessing Levi's wrath. “I apologize in disturbing you conversation. I'm just here to retrieve something.” He left.

Levi sat down as he rubbed his face.


	11. Discharge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that chapter 10 was late. I was waiting for fox-mccloud to read the draft of it. Also I'm thinking of wrapping up this fanfic. Probably in about 2-5 chapters. I'm probably thinking of typing a version of this fanfic in the perspective of Levi. IDK. Anyways, here is chapter 11.

Today was the day that I finally get off of suicide watch. I'm ready. I don't know why Levi got angry yesterday. He's here and I'm here.

  
Dr. Taylor walked in with a worried face. She glanced at those papers on a folder she held. “Um...this is interesting,” she said awkwardly. “Uh...at least you don't have cancer.”

  
“What is it?” Levi asked.

  
“I'm sorry,” she said. “I'm not good at saying what a patient is diagnosed with. Besides, I only the result from the blood tests.” She looked at it again. “The tests shows that she's not in drugs, alcohol, and doesn't smoke anything.”

  
“Okay…” Levi said. I'm letting him talk to her.

  
“I need Dr. Brushtail for the rest. I only deal with bodily things.” She called Dr. Brushtail. After she's done, she put her phone away. She gave eye contact to Levi. “I saw you yell into your phone yesterday.”

  
“A friend pissed me off.”

  
“How?” Her voice indicated an interest in what Levi is talking about.

  
“That drunk-as-hell bum steal money from me, insult my girlfriend…” He listed everything that his “friend” pisses him off.

  
“That's why I don't drink. Alcohol makes you do dumb things. It also makes good mams do bad things.”

  
I didn't join the conversation. I was too worried about what bad news Dr. Brushtail would say. I'm also worried about when the voice speaks again.

  
“That's why I stopped drinking,” he said.

  
“That's good that you did,” she said with a smile on her face.

  
I looked out the window. I see the same car as yesterday. Dr. Brushtail came out of it. He wore the same thing as yesterday and the day before that. He held his briefcase. He speed-walked to the hospital entrance. Sat back down. I listened as they talk about how alcohol is dumb.

  
Someone knocked on the door. She opened the door. Dr. Brushtail came into the room. He wasn't smiling. “Good morning, everyone.” He looked at Dr. Taylor. “Did you tell her the results from the blood test?”

  
“Yeah,” she said. “I called you to tell her and him the diagnosis.”

  
“I expected to tell them by tomorrow.” He sat down on a chair. Then he opened a briefcase.

  
“Oh. I thought you're going to do today.”

  
“I just wanted some more time think about it,” he said.

  
“Damn it guys, what is it?” Levi exclaimed. He was getting impatient and worried.

  
Dr. Brushtail sighed. He grabbed his notebook. He put his reading glasses on. He read it. He took them off. He gave Levi eye contact. “I can firmly tell you that Charlotte has schizophrenia.”

  
Levi jaw dropped. He was speechless. I couldn't believe it. “What is it?” Levi asked.

  
“Schizophrenia is mental illness where the sufferer can't tell what is reality and what is not,” Dr. Brushtail said. “Often they have delusions and hallucinations. However, they can have disorganized speech or “word salad”.”

  
“This isn't true,” I said. I looked at Levi. “Tell him this isn't true.”

  
“Mammals with Schizophrenia often have what is called anosognosia.”

  
“What does that mean?” Levi asked.

  
“Anosognosia is the unawareness of someone’s mental illness,” Dr. Brushtail said. “It's common among certain mental disorders.”

  
“Is there a way to help?” Levi asked.

  
He handed him a piece of paper from his briefcase. It has an Rx symbol on it. I didn't want to look at the rest. The fox said, “Medication help with treatment. However some dosages and/or medication will not work.”

  
“I'm fine!” I yelled. Everyone stopped to look at me.

  
“Um…” Dr. Taylor looked at the clipboard at the end of the bed. “Suicide watch is over. You can go home.”

  
“I suggest she goes to a therapist every week,” Dr. Brushtail said to Levi. He gathered his things. “I must be going. It's been a pleasure to meet you again, Charlotte and Levi.”

  
“Bye,” Levi said. I waved. Dr. Brushtail walked out of the room.

  
She walked out with some papers. “Suicide watch is over,” Dr. Taylor said. “You're free to go if you sign these papers.”

  
“What are they?” I asked.

  
“Discharge papers.”

  
I signed the papers. She whispered into Levi's ear. He nodded. She gave a thumbs up. She grabbed my papers. She walked out of the room. She came back with my clothes. “You can change in the bathroom.”

  
I went into the bathroom. I took off the hospital gown. I put my underwear and bra first. Next my socks and shirt. Finally my skinny jeans and shoes. I walked out of the bathroom. “Don't lift heavy things, and don't strain your arms,” she said. I nodded.

  
I had to in a wheelchair in order to leave the hospital. I went into his truck with his help.


	12. Return To Normal?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never actually kissed a girl before. Yep, I'm a virgin. Let's move on.

Levi drove his truck from the hospital to a pharmacy. He parked his car. “I’ll be back,” he said. “Just need to get some stuff.” I nodded. He left. I looked into the back seat. It didn't had his shotgun in there. Not even in the floor of the back seat. I checked out his radio. It has a USB port and a headphone jack. I turned on the radio. I was bored and the voices won't stop. I checked my phone. Text from Stacy. All of them about me having this ‘illness’. What a joke. Levi came back with a filled plastic bag. He drove his truck back to our apartment. It's the same one as before my suicide attempt.

  
We went inside our apartment. He set the plastic bag on the coffee table. He prepared a decent meal. I stabbed it with my fork. “It's been awhile since I ate your cooking,” I said.

  
He nodded. We ate the rest of our plates. He grabbed my empty plate along with his. “Thanks,” I said.

  
“You're welcome,” he said back. He rinsed the plates and put them in the dishwasher. We gazed at each other. We quickly had our lips touching each other. We clung to each other with our arms. Tongues going into each other mouths. I can smell his food breath with a little bit of booze. Our lip smacked loudly. He grabbed something from around him. Our lips let go of each other. I've never experienced something this intense.

  
He revealed a clear orange pharmacy bottle with a white cap. The label had the store name on it. I looked at the label again. It had my full name in it. “Why do you have that?” I asked with a sour voice. I'm disappointed that he didn't tell me that he's getting those.

  
He opened the bottle and poured two pills out. They looked… Big. “‘Cause you're sick in the head.”

  
“I'm not sick in the head.”

  
He moved the pills closer to me. “Take ‘em.”

  
“No,” I said adamantly. “I'm fine.”

  
“You're not.” His voice grew louder. “You just don't see that way.”

  
“I'm not taking those pills.” My voice grew louder.

  
“You're taking these pills.” His grew louder.

  
“I'm not!”

  
“Just take ‘em!”

  
“Why?” I yelled at him in anger.

  
He took a deep breath to calm himself down. He moved the pills away from me. “Because I love and care about you.”

  
I calmed down as well. “Then why did you yell at me?”

  
“‘Cause I'm frustrated at how you think you're fine, but you're actually not.” He moved the pill closer to me again. “Can you do me a favor and take these pills.”

  
I grabbed the pills from his hoof. I got myself a glass of water. I popped the pills into my mouth. It took at least three sips. Then swallowed. “There. Happy?”

  
“Yeah,” he said with a smirk.

  
“When will the pills kick in?” I asked as I still hear the voices.

  
His face lost its smirk. “About two to four weeks of use.”

  
My eyes widened. “Oh god,” I muttered.

  
“Yeah,” he just said.


	13. A New Beginning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Research influenced this chapter. This chapter has the feel of chapter 1. But this chapter is different. Very different. I also found out how to to use this divider line in my fanfics.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-. I slammed my fist onto the big snooze button on my alarm clock. Sunlight from the dark outside lit the dark room making it so dim. I put on my contacts and then paranoia hit me like a semi-truck. I rushed to the only window completely covered by the blinds in my bedroom and peeked through them. Making sure those abductors aren't around me when I leave for work. Levi was still asleep. He had a louder alarm clock to wake him up. I took one of those pills.

I hesitated to open the door knowing that a demonic sheep was waiting in the. Bit by bit I opened the door still hearing her evil snickers in the living room. I anxiously walk from my bedroom to my cramped kitchen through the living room passed that damn thing while also thing about my Diet Coke fix that I DESPERATELY NEED! I stopped when that spawn from hell spotted me. She open her mouth, showing the same wore down, but razor sharp, miniature shark teeth and the same pointed tongue. Blood of various shades of brown and crimson red splattered on her wool and battered formal clothes, I'm her victim. The familiar smell of rusted iron was present. "Welcome back," it said. "I know you miss me." I ran to our bedroom as soon as she sprinted at me. I slammed the door and held it in place. It bang on the door and shook it in a repeated manner. I was having a panic attack while this was happening.

It stopped bang and shaking the door. "I'll be back for you." I curled up into a ball with my back behind the door, and I bawled my eyes out.

I looked up at my alarm clock to find that it was now 6:30. Levi will be wake by 6:45. Thirty minutes has passed since I woke. I walked to my fridge, took a bottle of Diet Coke and took a sip. I held it tightly near my chest. I was clear-headed, calm, and slightly euphoric at the very sip. Then, guzzled it down. And another, and another. Until I paused halfway at my fifth bottle. Levi wanted me to stop my Diet Coke intake saying it eating at our money. I said to him it doesn't really matter since I have a $10 per hour job as gas station clerk, and you has some money, and I still some unemployment money. I also said to him that I can afford my crippling addiction and our apartment. I gulped down the bottle and grabbed a half empty milk jug out of the fridge. I then pulled out a bowl before making a loud belch. I reached of some bran cereal. After making the bran concoction, I set it down on the bowl and turned on the T.V. to the news. The T.V helps not hearing indistinguishable to clear voices during my meal. The familiar unnerving, intrusive voices. Levi stepped out of the bedroom pantless. He made the same thing I did. I ate my breakfast while watching it for thirty minutes, and peeked out the windows every minute. We talked a little bit while we ate. I went into the bedroom. I took off my t-shirt, women's underwear, and sweatpants for my green polo uniform. I finally brushed my teeth. He was already in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He eats fast.

I peeked out my two covered windows for the abductors, and said goodbye and kissed Levi before heading out with anxiety. I walked to my parked car and went inside it. I turned the ignition key, drove out of the underground parking lot, and drove off after turning on the radio loud radio to drown out those voices while driving. With a 24 pack of filled Diet Coke cans in a box on the front passenger seat for my break or lunch, I drove off. I passed the same monument and the Presidential Palace of Mammalia with that same goal. I arrived at my destination, got my lunch and cans, and went into the gas station building.

The same fatty rolled in. He got the same twenty dozens of gas station donuts. The fat bear places the donuts on the counter. He waits for me to call out the price. I said, "That'll be $130, sir."

He slapped $130. I restocked where the donuts were a went back to my cash register. "Were you at the hospital?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said. "Why did you asked?" And how did you found out?"

"My dad's side of the family gets severe lung cancer." I can hear his wheezing breath. He wasn't physically close to me. "And I saw you coming out of an ambulance there."

"Okay," I just said. He left with his donuts. I put the money in the register. I restocked where the donuts were a went back to my cash register.

The voice heard over my music said, "They are after you. Hide Charlotte hide." I duck under the desk and hid like the voice said. I always eat lunch during work.

Finally it was 4:00. The end my shift. I hastily went to my car with my trash from lunch, and drove back to my apartment. When I came home, Levi was watching T.V. He noticed me. "How's work?" He asked as I sat next to him.

"Good I guess," I said to him. "How's yours?"

"A guy made a threat to kill a chick over the intercom." His face showed concern. Something unlike his other times he talked about the intercom. "I think her name was Stacy Oliver or something."

"Oh my God," I muttered.

"He got arrested," he said reassuring me.

My phone rang. I answered it. "Hello, Stacy."

"Oh Charlotte," she said quickly with some distress in her voice. "Something terrible happened."

"What is it?" I saw Levi scoot closer to me.

"At Wool-Mart, y'know the one with the intercom pranks. Anyway, my ex threatened to kill me." Her breathing quickened slightly.

"Over the intercom?" I asked while Levi scooted even closer to me to eavesdrop.

"How do you know?" Her voice slowed down.

"'Cause my boyfriend works there."

"Is he the one who called 911?" she asked.

Levi leaned in to speak into the mic of my phone. "Yep," he said.

"Can I talk to him?"

I turned the speakerphone on. "Yes." I handed the phone to Levi.

"Thank you for calling 911."

"No problem," Levi said. "Everyone else sat there so why not I do something about it."

"I can't thank you enough," she said to Levi.

"Again, no problem."

"I need to go." she said to both of us. "Bye."

"Bye," Levi and I said not at the same time. Stacy hung up.

"Oh yeah," he said. "I might need to go to court."

"Why," I asked. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"True, but I'm a witness."

"Oh," I said. And Levi and I watched the news on T.V. about the same thing Levi witnessed.


	14. Appointment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was playing Hyrule Warriors Legends ever since I got for Christmas. By the time I post this chapter I will finish Legend Mode or close to beating that, I think. There is new storylines than Hyrule Warriors. No, I don't have a New Nintendo 3DS [XL].
> 
> Sorry that it was late.

I walked into the building and approached the receptionist at his desk. “Hi, I'm here for my appointment with Dr. Brushtail.”

“What is your name?” he asked politely.

“Charlotte Matilda Ramsey.”

He typed something into a computer. "May I see your ID? Just for verification.” I handed my driver’s license to him. He handed it back after doing something on the computer. “You're checked in,” he said. I waited for a while. I played in my phone.

“Charlotte,” Dr. Brushtail called out to me. I entered his office that is not in a prison. It had a couch that you might normally find in a stereotypical psychologist’s office, a few cushioned chairs, a small desk with a desk chair behind it. He sat down in one of the cushioned chairs instead of his desk chair. “Good afternoon, Charlotte,” he greeted with politeness and a smile.

“Hi, Doctor,” I greeted back.

He took off his reading glasses. “How is your daily life after your hospital discharge?”

My answer was blunt, with a hint of bitterness, "Bad."

His face was relaxed, but I could tell he wasn't interested in short responses. “Can you explain it in further detail?” He asked with interest.

“Every one to two days, a demonic sheep thing waits for me to wake up and walk out to the living room.” Talking about it intimidated me. I paused a for a bit.

“How would you describe this demonic sheep in greater detail?” It was apparent that he was gently pressing for answers that required more than one or two words.

I took a deep breath. “It had a lot of worn miniature shark teeth with a pointed tongue in her mouth, red framed cracked glasses…” I took another deep breath to stop myself from hyperventilating. “I can't…”

Dr. Brushtail stood up and put one paw on my shoulder. I could feel his calming presence seep into my mind. His tone was soft and understanding, “Take your time.”

I took another deep breath, feeling slightly relaxed, enough to continue, “...Brown and red blood on her white wool, and formal clothes.”

He made a face of interest, his eyes gazing into mine. If I didn't know any better, he looked as though he could read me through and through, but was looking for assertion in whatever speculation was in his head, “Can you describe ‘its’ attire in detail?”

“It wore a grey dress underneath a dark blue formal jacket, and a small bell on its neck.”

Brushtail's eyebrow twitched, quickly dismissed as he scribbled some notes in a shortpaw writ, “Your description of this demon reminds me of someone I know."

I paused for a moment. A bit surprised by what he said. “What do. it remind you of?”

“I'm sorry,” he said. “I cannot tell you due to confidentiality.” He wrote down something in his notebook.

I started to recall my daily work activities. “Work is the same pretty much. I go work behind a gas station desk, waiting for that fat bear while stocking the shelves.”

“Do the voices still intervene with your work?”

“Yes, and I still hide under the desk.”

“It would be understandable to hide in fear to protect yourself from something you fear.”

I felt understood. I nodded. “Levi made me take these pills. He said they're supposed to help me.”

“I'm apologize for not informing you about your pill prescription.”

“It's fine.” I continued to answer. “Yesterday, my friend Stacy got a death threat at a Wool-Mart. Levi called 911.”

“I heard about it.”

“That's all the time we have today. I shall see you next Saturday afternoon.” He said as smiled and gazed at me.

“Bye, Doctor,” I said as I left his office.


	15. Support Group

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I have nothing to say much here. I'm wrapping up this fanfic soon. Also my chapters are going shorter and shorter.

I entered into this community service building. I walked through the hallway. Following some signs overhead. I passed a large cafeteria, an office desk, and a couple of bathrooms. The building also has vending machines, more vending machines, and those huge blood pressure machines peppered in the building. Also, three is smoking trays in the building.

I finally found the room where I supposed to be. The room was labeled “Room 114”. There was a sign on the door. It read “Schizophrenic Help Group” and “No, the stock market isn't schizo you dumba**”. “I open the door. In the room was a round table with six chairs. Five of them full, but one was empty. There were five mammals: a ram, a wolf, a bobcat, a bunny, and a fox. “Welcome!” greeted the ram with a cheerful tone. “We hadn't had anybody new here since a couple of months.” He pulled out the empty chair. “Come, sit.” As soon as I sat down on the chair, he push it in. “Introduce yourself.”

“I'm Charlotte,” I said with a bit of nervousness.

“Hi, Charlotte,” everyone said except the wolf and the bunny. The bunny typed something in his tablet. Then he showed the screen to me. It said ‘Hi, Charlotte”. The wolf was motionless as if she was dead. She seemed to be staring in the ceiling. She had a strange posture and her mouth is slightly opened.

“What are you guys’s names?” I asked.

“Im Matt...” the ram said. The rest introduced their names. The bobcat is Mitch, the bunny is Ronnie, and the fox is Roxie. “...and she is Heather,” Matt said as he introduced the wolf. “So, what brings you here?”

“My psychiatrist recommended this to me.”

“I'm glad he did. Sometimes you need help getting through hardships in life.”

“Thank you.”

A sound of a bell distorted by a tablet or phone's speaker rung loudly. Ronnie typed something in his tablet. He showed the screen. It said, ‘How's life?’

“Not good,” I said. “A demonic ewe waits for me every time I wake up.” I didn't want to describe it further.

“You don't to share everything,” Matt said. “You're braver than I am. I would've ran away from it screaming.”

I chuckled. I felt a bit more comfortable. “I hid from the abductors.”

“Why did they want you?” Roxie asked.

“I don't know. They just want me.”

“Have you call the cops?” Mitch asked.

“Yeah, but I got fined for a false 911 call.” I looked at the Heather’s motionless body for a split second. “I don't mean to be rude, but why is Heather like that?”

“She has catatonic schizophrenia where she has weird body movements or this, and she can't afford her meds,” Matt answered as I felt bad for her. “Watch this.” He moved her arms up so that she looked like she was doing a touchdown dance. Then he let go of her arm, and they stayed there. “Isn't it weird?”

“Yeah.” He moved her arm back. I said, “A voice dictates my life. It tell me what to do.”

“Does it threaten when you when you don't follow it?” he asked. I nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Most of them are bad.”

“I have other voices that are horrible.”

“I feel your pain.” He made me feel understood.

Roxie talked about getting pregnant, but she doesn't want her baby to have birth defects. Mitch is still finding the sweet spot for his meds. And Ronnie typed what he wanted to talk about on his tablet. Heather was in a catatonic stumper to do anything but sit. I felt comfortable, and some Metallica was playing in the background.

A wolf came leaned into the room. He said, “I’m here for my sister.”

Matt made eye contact to everyone at the table after listening to the wolf at the doorway. “Well, that's all folks. See you later.” Everyone not in a catatonic stupor and at the table said goodbye to everyone. The wolf carried Heather out of the room. Mitch, Ronnie, and Roxie walked out of the room. Matt grabbed his wireless speaker before leaving. I left with a little bit of hope in my life.


	16. A New Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry I was late. I was hooked on a game.

 

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-. I slammed my fist onto the big snooze button on my alarm clock. Sunlight from the dark outside lit the dark room making it so dim. I put on my contacts. I walked to the open window and look through the window. The sun was barely rising. Levi was still asleep. He had a louder alarm clock to wake him up. I took some pills.

 

I open the door. I walk from the bedroom to the kitchen through the living room. I kinda miss the demonic sheep. Kinda. It's been months since I seen it.

 

I checked the time on my phone to find that it was now 6:30. Levi will be wake by 6:45. Thirty minutes has passed since I woke. I walked to my fridge, took a two-liter bottle of Diet Coke and took a gulp. I held it tightly near my chest. I was clear-headed, calm, and slightly euphoric at the very gulp. I forced myself to put it into the fridge. I started to cut down on my Diet Coke intake. They're right. It's eating at our money. I struggled to afford my crippling addiction and my apartment. I grabbed a half empty milk jug out of the fridge. I then pulled out a bowl. I reached of some bran cereal. After making the bran concoction, I set it down on the bowl and turned on the T.V. to the news to see what’s going on. I almost missed the unnerving, intrusive voices. Almost. Levi stepped out of the bedroom pantless as always. I watched some T.V. He made the same thing I did. I ate my breakfast while watching it for thirty. We talked a little bit of small talk while we ate. I went into the bedroom. I took off my t-shirt, women’s underwear, and sweatpants for my green polo uniform. I finally brushed my teeth. He was already in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He devours everything if you let him do.

 

I peeked out my two covered windows for the abductors, and said goodbye and kissed Levi before heading out with anxiety. I walked to my parked car and went inside it. I turned the ignition key, drove out of the underground parking lot, and drove off after turning on the radio loud radio to drown out those voices while driving. With some food for lunch, I drove off. I passed the same monument and the Presidential Palace of Mammalia. I arrived at my destination, got my lunch, and went into the gas station building.

 

The same fatty rolled in. He had a breathing tube on his nose attached to an oxygen tank. He grabbed his usual. Only except four times as much. He sat the stack of 4 dozens of donuts “How's your cancer going?” I said.

 

“Better I think,” he replied.

 

“That's good,” I said as I opened the cash register. “How's your dad?”

 

“He's finally in remission.” He placed the $520 onto the counter. “So I am throwing a little surprise for him.”

 

“”I'm glad that your dad is okay. He needs it.” I put the money into the register and closed it.

 

“Thanks.” He picked up his donuts in one arm. He then grabbed the handle of his oxygen. “I need to go. Bye.” He started to leave.

 

“Wait.”I saw him face me. “My boss wanted me to give you this.” I handed him an rewards card for the gas station. “It's for being our customer for so many years.”

 

He smiled. “Thanks.” He put the card into his pocket. “I'm gonna tell everybody about this place!” And he left after I said goodbye. I restocked where the donuts were a went back to my cash register. I didn't miss the voice.

 

It was 4:00. The end my shift. I walked to my car with my trash from lunch, and drove back to my apartment. When I came home, Levi was watching T.V. He noticed me. “How's work?” he asked as I sat next to him.

 

“You know about the only customer in the gas station that I work?” He nodded. Then I said, “Well, he's surprising his dad with five dozens of donuts.”

 

“Damn! It must be huge!”

 

“Yep.”

 

“A teenage boy shoved the mouthpiece of the intercom up his ass. And his diarrhea broke it.”

 

I made of disgust. I have no words.

 

“They hired security after that.”

 

We had our dinner at our usual times. Talking about stuff. Then we readied ourselves to bed. I laid down next to Levi. Anticipating for the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. This fanfic took everything out of me. At first it was fun, but then I got tired of it. I might write another fanfic, but I need a break first.


End file.
